We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
