listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
