Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
