my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
