dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Randomize
