I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
