tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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