Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Randomize
