so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
