I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think a kid would responsible me up
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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