Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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