OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
