i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
