Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
