Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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