Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
