its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize