i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
