a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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