he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
