Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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