She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
