Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
