in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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