I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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