Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
