Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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