i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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