I love black thongs
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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