man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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