Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
