but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
