It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
two words: eviction party
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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