it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
