I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
