When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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