I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
4 words: hood of his car
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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