What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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