Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
