You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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