i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
