Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
