Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
