It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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