What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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