Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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