no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
