Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
