u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
