well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
