the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
