I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
