Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
