I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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