What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
