My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
