I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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