I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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