I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
