just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
