census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
i believe in u and ur pee
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
