It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize