Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
