I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
