So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
