So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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