she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
