i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
