I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
