The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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