I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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