I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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