My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
