How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and she was petting her beer can
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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