I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
