Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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