you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
