a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
